Sep
15
What do you think about the following grammatically/logically?
ByFar far away, near the horizon, where the sky and the sea meet…
Someone was able to catch a glimpse of a sailing yacht… a sailing yacht that was fading away into the horizon…
3 Comments
September 15th, 2010 at 12:06 am
It is difficult to analyze grammatically a train of thought punctuated by ellipses. However, it appears that the "someone" was at the horizon him/herself already. (Misplaced modifier.) Wherever the sailboat may be, it was probably fading across the horizon, not into it.
September 15th, 2010 at 12:06 am
It doesn’t really make sense . It implies that someone is far away near the horizon . Also saying someone doesn’t really work . who is someone ? It would be better like this .
He stood on the shore gazing out towards the distant horizon where the sky and the sea seemed to meet . As he looked he noticed a yacht , he watched it as it faded away into the distance until finally it disappeared over the horizon .
September 15th, 2010 at 12:06 am
It was good till the last part. That part made it sound akward. But it was pretty good.